I thought a bit what to write in my first blogpost ever (yep, almost 20 years after it bacame cool).

Should it be patetic or funny? Emotional or relaxed?

But I didn’t want to exaggerate or overdue it. It’s just a blogpost afterall. Hopefully I’ll write plenty of them.

And what lead me to this point (posting, starting a store)?

Background story: I’m a typical “corpo-rat” with more than 10 years experience in such enviroments.
I wish I could write that it’s because of the frustration, but I’m not frustrated. I’m just… dissapointed. There are not many emotions in me in general. But how can you have plenty of these if for most of the day, five times a week you need to numb yourself for serveral hours simply to stay at your desk till 5 or 6pm and go home.

But thanks to Julia’s Cameron book – “The Artist’s Way” – which I read 3 years ago, I realized that I forgot that I don’t remember that I liked to draw as a kid. And in one of the excersises in the book you have to draw for a couple of minutes. So I did. And it was enough to get back to this from time to time and that was despite I almost completely forgot how to draw.

And one of my sketches was this guy:

This is how I feel about myself nowadays. Towards others, towards me.

I wish I felt frustrated instead.